What We Do in the Shadows

Heightened rationalized improbability permeates What We Do in the Shadows, productively enlivening the confines of the undead, with shattered/rebuilt staggering susceptibility.

Incinerator.

4 vampires have been living together for some time in Wellington, New Zealand, tediously, nonchalantly, constructively, and impetuously approaching eternity, sort of learning and growing together as one, individuality integratively asserted, within their infernal domestic.

A camera crew is granted access and follows them around as they socially interact.

Debating, observing, feasting.

The film successfully works its way into the mockumentary cleavage, adding a bizarre sense of feisty unrealistic yet applicably pertinent ironic existential banality to its hemorrhage, asinine arteries and viscous veins wickedly yet lovingly distributing its worn permanence, like the genre itself is transformatively expired.

A skulking pantheon.

As they explore the external world and attend festive gatherings, favourite representatives of various divergencies emerge, their conversations occasionally fraught with bitterness and decay, a clash with the lycans, everything held together by Stu (Stuart Rutherford).

Stu is the human friend of recently converted vampire Nick (Cori Gonzalez-Macuer), and he aloofly yet essentially stylizes the film.

Nick builds Deacon's (Jonathan Brugh) character by contrasting his youthful rebelliousness with rash exuberance, the two growing ensemble, clueless direct un/concerned advice intact.

Some of the jokes don't work, like swearwolves/swerewolves.

More could have been done with the vampire hunter and the Unholy Masquerade.

Still, as far as people awkwardly placed within a time period they neither understand nor care to get to know goes, taking the time to formulate opinions and conclusions which both validate and empower them regardless, even if they subconsciously recognize their inherent weaknesses, What We Do in the Shadows serves to obscure while lucidly contemplating, as discoveries are made, and friendships develop.

It would be nice to see what Clement and Waititi could pull off with a larger budget and more time.

What We Do in the Shadows could make a funny show, there's plenty of material to work with.

Underworld: Awakening

Vampires and werewolves are at in again in Awakening, the latest instalment in the Underworld series.

Fan favourite Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is set free from her chamber after having been preserved on ice for a dozen years at a medical corporation known as Antigen. Instantaneously regaining her combative flexibility, she terrorizes the surrounding security forces in order to acrobatically escape the premises.

In search of lover and vampire/lycan hybrid Michael Corvin.

Little does she know that during her cryogenic slumber she gave birth to a hybrid child known as Subject 2/Eve (India Eisley) whom the lycans now viciously seek.

She rescues her daughter from their clutches and is then fortunately provided with sanctuary at a secretive coven by the curious and friendly David (Theo James).

But the lycans soon come calling and successfully recapture little Eve before taking her back to home base.

Serene must now break into Antigen and rescue her daughter before the diabolical Dr. Jacob Lane (Stephen Rea) can cut her to pieces.

And proliferate his cure.

Oh, and humans caught on to the existence of vampires and lycans and killed most of them during The Purge which took place at the time Antigen acquired Serene.

If you really like the Underworld series and don't mind that its lore isn't significantly internally diversified or particularized, and are only seeking an hour-and-a-half of fast paced tormented action, Awakening will work for you, as it contains that which you desire.

If you are seeking the historical element that made some of its predecessors more noteworthy steer clear as there's little of tangential yet critical value within besides a brute examination of different generational attitudes concerning survival, a regenerative super-lycan (whose presence goes nowhere) (Kris Holden-Ried as Quint Lane), and a visionary cop (Michael Ealy as Detective Sebastian) who doesn't want to recondition The Purge's hysteria.

Headstrong, stunted and brief.

Could have used less hyperactivity.

Red Riding Hood

Was excited regarding the release of Catherine Hardwicke's Red Riding Hood due to its examination of werewolves. But there are not many positive things to say about her film unfortunately. Yes, there is a werewolf, and it does star Gary Oldman and Lukas Haas, but apart from these facts it's one of the most sterile, wooden, nauseating teen melodramas I've seen, even more nauseating than New Moon. There's a beautiful woman betrothed to a man she doesn't love, desperately seeking to elope with her subject of desire. Her mother points out the financial benefits of making a good marriage and the rewards that come with financial security. The moon is cloaked in blood, the only time when werewolf bites can create new werewolves. A crusader's lust for victory turns him into the very monster he hopes to slay. The elements of an entertaining werewolf film are present but the execution lacks distinction. It's painful to watch as the predictable lines are heartily coated with sentimental prestige and hardwired blithering. I detected two moments where it seemed as if the film wasn't taking itself seriously, where I thought perhaps irony was its motivating factor and that it had therefore achieved a certain degree of redemption. But these moments pass quickly and fade into the night like crumbs sprinkled from a saltine delicately sleuthing their way through a living room's reconstituted equanimity. One for the money, two for the show. At least little Valerie (Amanda Seyfried) follows her heart.

The Wolfman

Joe Johnston's recasting of the classic Wolfman legend wantonly howls while slashing and thrashing, but its romantic subplot can't effectively counterbalance its vicious nature due to the lacklustre execution of its sentimental content. A father and son known as Sir John (Anthony Hopkins) and Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) are set up in opposition. Sir John is a macho patriarch while his estranged son is an contemplative actor, the two excelling in their chosen roles. When Lawrence discovers that his brother has been savagely murdered, he swears vengeance, and recklessly pursues the unidentified killer, only to wind up bitten by the beast and condemned by both the local gypsies and reverend (Roger Fisk) alike. His brother's betrothed (Emily Blunt as Gwen Conliffe) reminds both Lawrence and Sir John of Solana Talbot (Cristina Contes), wife and mother, which serves to further complicate matters. As Lawrence falls for Gwen, their dialogue becomes increasingly saccharine even though Lawrence is a famous Shakespearean actor and likely used to expressing himself eruditely. Since she reminds him of his mother, it makes sense that his education and experience would be misplaced in her presence as he slips into a childish state consequently. However, this reason doesn't legitimize the dialogue, it merely points out that logical depth can't trump banal posturing unless the irony sustaining their relationship can be artistically cultivated, i.e., banal lines that seem superficial at first but reveal hidden semantic currents upon further reflection. Sir John is maniacal and revels in his son's incarceration, gleefully basking in their familial discomfort. The horror is therefore composed of both carnal and psychological elements, apprehensively destabilizing any attempts at a rapprochement between father and son. But The Wolfman's infantilized romantic inclinations troublingly traumatize its terror, and arguably suggest that such a lack of congruity is where the film's transformative powers reside.

New Moon

I've seen better films than Chris Weitz's New Moon. In fact, I've seen much much better films that Chris Weitz's New Moon. I enjoyed Twilight because I wasn't familiar with the story or any of the characters, generally like vampire films, and was entertained by its down home country charm. But in Twilight's sequel these characters are supposed to dynamically grow and change and develop and evolve, which, I'm afraid, they don't, in fact, most of the film just follows around heartbroken Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) as she pines for lost love Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) while taking unfair advantage of the feelings of Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) whose too ingenuous to know any better. And when it comes to choosing between them does she pick bucolic Jacob, with his intricate knowledge of blue collar affairs and humble well-meaning disposition? No, no she does not, she chooses aristocratic Edward so that she can fly high with the elite and enjoy a fast-paced urbanized existence even though Jacob is better for her which can't help but tear ya up inside. Perhaps she should go for both of them and give birth to Aristotle's golden mean, a werewolf-vampire; I'm pretty sure that's what Aristotle was after but who knows! Apart from that, unless you want to watch a teenaged girl lament her failed relationship while engaging in reckless acts and crying for 90 minutes, I suggest you steer clear of New Moon and wait for Eclipse to be released this June.

It's bound to be better.

Twilight

Catherine Hardwicke's new teenybopper flick Twilight explores the hearty hardline separating vampires and their human counterparts. Human Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) moves from Phoenix to the small town of Forks, Washington, to live with her father (Billy Burke as Charlie Swan) and resume her studies. But Bella wasn't counting on meeting Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), a member of a local family of vampires who denies their natural thirst for human blood and feast upon animals instead (and also enjoy playing baseball). Their ferociously subdued romance turns heads and homesteads as members of the Native community (descended from wolves according to legend and wary of the Cullens) keep a sharp watch on Edward (whose family is supportively patronizing). Their foes are many and their attachment precarious but these streams still cross affectively, aptly demonstrating the illustrious intrigue engendered by a star-crossed couple unafraid to unleash their picturesque passion.

Thereby defeating Gozer.

Definitely the most romantic vampire film I've seen, Twilight's easy going slow moving pacing is problematically perforated by the introduction of villains. S'pose some kind of overt conflict's to be expected in a vampire flick, and it was made for a younger audience, but removing the formulaic evil presence (clearly included for the males of the species) and investigating the covert cultural pressures more sanguinely would have enhanced Twilight's clandestine charm, thereby structurally reflecting the sun's scintillating effects upon the Cullen's skin. Rich in bucolic beauty, drenched in kitschy sophomoric artistry, Twilight magnifies the lengthy measures a coruscating couple must resiliently recite, while wisely suggesting that it's worth it.