It seemed like a miraculous invention destined to save billions of lives worldwide, and was taken up with adamant fervour upon the announcement of its impetus.
Lab grown meat, the definitive end to senseless slaughter and inherent cruelty, the scientists involved heralded as champions of environmentalism and sustainability.
A group of brave adventurers were selectively chosen to test the product, after years of painstaking research and cumbersome interminable frustration.
It sounded harmless and fun, simply show up and eat a ribeye, with burgers and bacon and venison, for the average meat eater, a robust feast.
They settled in to their choice of salad and were even offered garlic bread and soup, the tantalizing meal universally appealing to the chosen few delicately selected.
Everything was going well after dessert finished up and the participants settled down, their choice of televisual and filmic accompaniments vigorously awaiting heartfelt visions.
When suddenly several of the guests broke out into unanticipated fevers.
Before the lab grown meat they had consumed.
Burst through their skin in mammalian facsimile.
*I didn't get it dad? Why did all the animals suddenly burst through the skin of the oblivious gluttons?
**Well you see son, according to the film, the scientists hadn't taken into account the transformative characteristics of the newly conceived food, and were uncertain how it would effect a hungry curious adoring public. So they tested it on a group who were then transformed into different beasts, depending on what they'd eaten that evening, it kind of makes sense when you think about it.
*Oh, I see, that does make way more sense.
**Totally.
***I liked the sequel, where they collected the remains of the guests and ground them up and fed them to the animals, and then the humans burst out through the animal skins, indeed alive once again.
*Spoiler!
**Interstellar!
*I was surprised to see a coyote.
***Endemic cutbacks. So unpredictable.
