Seriously

I hereby declare, that e-mails signed with only one symbol, whether it be a number, letter, or some other culturally representative denomination, carrying with it some kind of stunted vernacular rhythm, are the stigmata of the left wing, while their counterpart, those e-mails mentioning one of the myriad names born by the phonetically flowing individual, in full, are the right wing's prerogative, forevermore.