Friday, June 23, 2017

Baywatch

The perils and perplexions of illustriously lifeguarding are nautically fathomed in Seth Gordon's Baywatch.

Not only must leader Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) ensure that the people frolicking upon his beach feel free to safely splish and splash, but he must also macroscopically contend with submerged monopolistic commerce intent on violently overwhelming the businesses in his local community.

One deep plunge at a time.

But his vigilant altruism is youthfully constrained as cocky new recruit and two time olympic gold medalist Matt Brody (Zac Efron) foolishly contradicts his discerning holistic guidance.

Not even the emotive real-time miniatures commentating within Buchannon's fish tanks can persuade young Brody to cast his cheek aside, and as his misguided undertow seditiously saturates reputations afloat, the rest of the team must unselfishly preserve.

Ronnie (Jon Bass) and CJ (Kelly Rohrbach) tenderly resurface.

While Summer (Alexandra Daddario) and Stephanie (Ilfenesh Hadera) boldly tread to thrive.

Periwinkle processions lathered in baleen, Baywatch cruises through coral to wind sweep serene.

Exalting teamwork thereby in athletic sea beds, marine life sleeps peacefully stretched out and spread.

But that could very same marine life in fact be sleeping more peacefully in an even more oceanic Baywatch 2?

One which takes on the worldwide problem of trolling the ocean with massive nets that wind up catching and killing far more than the sought after fish species?

While relating everything to protecting the beach?

Thousands of unwanted turtles, dolphins, octopi, sharks, and undesirable fish swim into these nets daily, a saddening loss of life that could be lessened by using smaller nets.

Could the Baywatch team arrest these clear-cutters of the sea by boisterously lambasting industrial bycatch?

That would be phenomenal.

With special guest Brigitte Bardot?

And a french lifeguard on exchange from La Rochelle who complicates Ronnie and CJ's relationship?

Plastic in the ocean is wreaking havoc on wildlife as well.

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