You mean to say, dearest K______, that in your travels, remarkable and diverse as they have been, you've never encountered someone who, in their flexible docility and unimpeachable serenity, has not, during the course of an accidental conversation, demonstrated a particular and distinct predilection for ineptitude, while still illuminating consummate expertise?

K

We figured that in order to avoid attaching a too puritanical component to our mandate it was important to allow K_____ to speak, inasmuch as his excessive position had expressed itself (after he'd been confined; his excess became grotesque and had nurtured alternatives who were proving to be more profitable [from whom we were expecting new excessive and subdued postures to develop]).

In prison, K_____'s active yet acrimonious audacity was provided with a pen so that we could learn from his peculiarity. It was sad but so are lions when they're crying.

It was on the outs. I could handle the yap yips but not the yip yaps, all day, everyday, in suffering, this and that, asking questions, creating "initiatives," changing things, shouting, without approval, design, ingenuity. The mechanism was running smoothly but I was bored and realized that my co-workers were also bored and therefore devised challenges to see whether or not they could cope. They found a way and our productivity rebounded until that became bothersome and I became threatening. No more rackets and peachy red things, just abandonment; Kenneth was a worthy adversary and exclusively yap yipped. Werner was tough but there was yip yap as well (buttes and boulders). It was about being social, there was work to be done and my designs enhanced the value of that work, although, that trusting, honest, angelic patsy, falling for trap after trap while we danced to his prose by the moonlight's sonata; Smyke did not fare well. He didn't get a lot of hellos and how are you's, just minded his own business, wanted to go home, see his wife, write, this upsets people, lights things, if only he'd been ugly, hostile, volatile. I took care of those who tormented him because that was my business and Werner and Kenneth understood that, at least. At least they understood that. My quarters are tight but at least I can write, rest, pass a drill through my temple, cough syrup, you don't stop shouting, I don't have my tools, enough, it just gets worse with confrontation, and without it it doesn't stop; why is this accepted, drill, shades and silence and serendipitous salutes break the routine but then it's back on my bunk, yap yip yap yip yip yap yip yap. I don't want that for dinner, why must we always where this, this leak keeps leaking, dripping and dripping, drip drip, drip drip, drip drip, drip drip. Drip drip, like the other, like the other, incomprehensible, his innocent ingenuous heart-beating without form, internal torment with its constant rhythmic yip yappic symphony. My pillow's just a couple of feathers in case. I can't smoke. One of the conditions, just stop, stop, it's not even yip yap it's just yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, like a hound, like a stilted vulture swooping over a pack of its satiated brethren, thinking about a lotus, honey, tea, honey and tea and tea and honey to bring it all back in my office with my problems and their solutions and a unicorn and a lot of it was yap yip drip drip on a slide just summertime living easy with Liszt and two ice cubes and a lake to go swimming with fish and mosquitoes and merchants selling treats and singing, sighing, easing along, among ponds and beaches and beaver dams with ludicrous diversions, heroic hairlines, solitary stations, whispering with the wind, cotton candy, a tulip, yip yap, stop shouting, shouting, shouting. It wasn't me, there was never a dialogue, a question, a response, leaches, instantaneous, needing hooks and harnesses and hindsight, backwards, lateral, that drip, if I squeeze through the bars it just bounces back and rebounds off the wall putting back together all the king's horses, monarch jester butterfly spirit's tenacity, taciturn yet competent tyrant yap yipping no flair just charisma no talent just inspiring them towards goals and objectives which they truly believed in due to his existential good faith. I want a cigarette, to be, to be somewhere, a pack, a long winding road but can't, can't but want, locked inside details don't change shouting the dripping is dripping and yipping and shouting and yapping and shouting tormented by the side of a lake where my chair has no armrest and my mesh hat streams.

From "Dealing with K_____"

My hands were full, fuller, so the door was opened, no, not opened, opened, I was carrying a box of coffee, not coffee, no, pizza was later, at that point I had coffee, coffee, understand, okay, there's a virus lying in section d of file c kept within drive x of K_____'s laptop that will be launched if Anderson opens her c drive to assist with payroll which she must do. It can be stopped if Synge and Sean begain a game of Iron Will after six and Synge uses his mace to defeat Sean in the boulevard on Sentiment Island; but Synge and Sean can't know that this is the only way to stop K______'s virus from infecting our pay because of the Stilton Probe K______ placed in their office in order to line up his thoughts with theirs so that he can navigate the underground more efficiently, meaning they can't know about it.

Most seriously unfortunate news noble herald.

I know; I know.

Okay this is what we have to do, this is the only way that K_____'s malevolence can be thwarted and we must thwart that malevolence indeed if we are to once again dine upon crisp fragments of marsh mellow. Judy, take the vette to San Paradina and order 6 fresh kiwis at Mongo's, he's got the juiciest. Lucy, set a trail by the water cooler using the jet laser in order to cast a peachy red glow throughout the kitchen. Like her shirt, yes. I don't know, they like peachy red things. No you can't use the bathroom. Yes, Jefferson City, correct, Andorra not San Marino, John Elway, legendary, true all true, but we need to place 4 kiwis in the fridge and take the juice from the other two and insert it in a hard-boiled egg. When they enter the room, Jenkins, you'll be watching, show Charles the seventh digit of π and he will then dim the lights, it's the current trend. With the lights dimmed, they'll be reminded that the blazing sun, in all it's glory, foe of Phaeton, harvester of heroes, moor of might, doctor of detente, is setting, thereby indicating that although they set their own hours, it is now after six, meaning a break is at hand, at which point Sean will inevitably open the fridge, spotting the kiwis, while at the same time, being a hard-boiled egg that's never been cracked, and possessing superior olfactory senses, Synge will sense the hard-boiled egg kiwi concoction, after which, a duel will be the only way to quench their unreasonable desire - there can be only one possessor of the kiwi juice infused hard-boiled egg, and only one - hence, they're favourite form of duel settling being a game of Iron Will (as demonstrated by their last 7 duels), they'll head straight for their office upon embracing the challenge. The problem is that Sean generally defeats Synge and Synge usually uses his saber while battling in boulevards. Hence, we need Ursa to empty her mind so that the Stilton Probe can't hear her. Then, she must set up a Shropshire's Discus beneath the waste paper basket located on the left beside the door which will be used to coyly reverse subsection B paragraph 1(a) of the Probe's beam which will then be used to transmit the messages: boulevard battle level 9, buffalo the saber, if Synge wins the sky will be filled with droplets of orange pekoe and as they fall to the earth we will receive the sustenance required to energetically invigorate Newberry. This will undoubtably work if we work together as a team.

This plan will never experience failure.

You hath cast for K_____ a defeat most clever and cunning.

It's what I do.

Gauze Industry: Personal Diary, Ms. Anderson, 11th Aug., 2012

K_____ knew that his managerial team was frowning upon his work and that he required a catalyst to restore his value, hence, when they hired Smythe, a bright light did shine, for here was the perfectly pliable providential Prole for his plan. Carved him up, spit 'em out, supposing he was thereby ennobling his terms of endearment, unaware, that Mr. Werner had indeed been monitoring the situation and was cognizant of his treachery.