From "Dealing with K_____"

My hands were full, fuller, so the door was opened, no, not opened, opened, I was carrying a box of coffee, not coffee, no, pizza was later, at that point I had coffee, coffee, understand, okay, there's a virus lying in section d of file c kept within drive x of K_____'s laptop that will be launched if Anderson opens her c drive to assist with payroll which she must do. It can be stopped if Synge and Sean begain a game of Iron Will after six and Synge uses his mace to defeat Sean in the boulevard on Sentiment Island; but Synge and Sean can't know that this is the only way to stop K______'s virus from infecting our pay because of the Stilton Probe K______ placed in their office in order to line up his thoughts with theirs so that he can navigate the underground more efficiently, meaning they can't know about it.

Most seriously unfortunate news noble herald.

I know; I know.

Okay this is what we have to do, this is the only way that K_____'s malevolence can be thwarted and we must thwart that malevolence indeed if we are to once again dine upon crisp fragments of marsh mellow. Judy, take the vette to San Paradina and order 6 fresh kiwis at Mongo's, he's got the juiciest. Lucy, set a trail by the water cooler using the jet laser in order to cast a peachy red glow throughout the kitchen. Like her shirt, yes. I don't know, they like peachy red things. No you can't use the bathroom. Yes, Jefferson City, correct, Andorra not San Marino, John Elway, legendary, true all true, but we need to place 4 kiwis in the fridge and take the juice from the other two and insert it in a hard-boiled egg. When they enter the room, Jenkins, you'll be watching, show Charles the seventh digit of π and he will then dim the lights, it's the current trend. With the lights dimmed, they'll be reminded that the blazing sun, in all it's glory, foe of Phaeton, harvester of heroes, moor of might, doctor of detente, is setting, thereby indicating that although they set their own hours, it is now after six, meaning a break is at hand, at which point Sean will inevitably open the fridge, spotting the kiwis, while at the same time, being a hard-boiled egg that's never been cracked, and possessing superior olfactory senses, Synge will sense the hard-boiled egg kiwi concoction, after which, a duel will be the only way to quench their unreasonable desire - there can be only one possessor of the kiwi juice infused hard-boiled egg, and only one - hence, they're favourite form of duel settling being a game of Iron Will (as demonstrated by their last 7 duels), they'll head straight for their office upon embracing the challenge. The problem is that Sean generally defeats Synge and Synge usually uses his saber while battling in boulevards. Hence, we need Ursa to empty her mind so that the Stilton Probe can't hear her. Then, she must set up a Shropshire's Discus beneath the waste paper basket located on the left beside the door which will be used to coyly reverse subsection B paragraph 1(a) of the Probe's beam which will then be used to transmit the messages: boulevard battle level 9, buffalo the saber, if Synge wins the sky will be filled with droplets of orange pekoe and as they fall to the earth we will receive the sustenance required to energetically invigorate Newberry. This will undoubtably work if we work together as a team.

This plan will never experience failure.

You hath cast for K_____ a defeat most clever and cunning.

It's what I do.